The Pagan blogosphere is abuzz with commentary over whether it's appropriate to exclude transwomen from women's only spaces. The debate is resparked following an incident at PantheaCon where at least one transwoman was turned away from the Rite of Lilith hosted by the Amazon Priestress Tribe, the Dianic arm of the Come As You Are Coven (CAYA). You can follow some of the debate here.
I didn't attend this ritual, but I've been following the debate because it interests me personally. I have tremendous respect for the Dianic tradition. Z Budapest's The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries was one of the earliest books I ever read on modern Paganism and it struck a deep chord. However, Z and I suppose many other Dianic Witches of her generation, appear to be firmly rooted in second-wave feminism.
There's a phase of personal growth that I've noticed is common to both feminism and Wicca. A lot of women who become feminists in a very conscious way suddenly find themselves carrying a lot of anger. The realization of the injuries of patriarchy set in and they often find themselves needing a safe space to share their experiences and heal. This has been the great value of women-only spaces. Similarly, many new Wiccans converting from Chrisitianity carry a lot of hurt and anger and they need a place to process that. Eventually, I think (at least, I hope) most women and Wiccans emerge from those dark places.
I find myself struggling as I challenge my own assumptions about sex and gender identity. I reject essentialism. I have zero interest in celebrating women's blood mysteries, I don't plan to have children, and I resent the idea that a woman is a woman based on her uterus. I believe gender is a social construct and acknowledge that gender can have ambiguity and fluidity. But that's all in my head. My visceral reaction is sometimes different.
Would I have been uncomfortable at the Lilith Ritual in the presence of transwomen or even men? Nope. But the question of whether I think transwomen are just like ciswomen is much more difficult for me to answer. It doesn't have much to do with biology. Just as I don't want my womanhood defined by my uterus, I'm not going to define a transwoman as a woman by her breasts. It's the same kind of reduction. The body can't be enough.
I think socialization is very important. Men who became women still once belonged to a social category that has helped defined who they are and how they should behave interpreted on the basis of biological differences that typically favor men. It is very difficult to escape our social programming. Additionally, transpeople have a unique experience that cispeople don't share. I suppose everyone needs their own space as well as communal spaces where we can come together.
I hadn't given it much thought in terms of the Pagan community. While Wicca struggles with its own issues of gender polarity (which makes me cringe), I've never been at a ritual that explicitly excluded anyone on the basis of sex and gender though I have passed on the traditional Beltaine ritual more than once. I expect discussion on this issue will continue in the coming weeks. I definitely have more to say on it if I can get it all together in my head.
The conflict behind this story is the principal reason I left Wicca and pursued other paths. I know there are great Wiccans out there - I read about them all the time - but my experience in Wicca was that I was surrounded by women who excluded nearly all mention of the masculine. It wasn't just at the spiritual level, but also at the personal level - the women favored other women for leadership roles and goddess worship was the order of the day despite their insistence that they worshipped the feminine and masculine equally. It was really frustrating to me to feel like I was being excluded for no other reason than that I had the same genitals as "the great oppressor." I sympathize with those excluded from the ritual and I sincerely hope they can find a way to celebrate the divine that doesn't revolve around their gender or gender identity.
ReplyDeleteMy partner is MtF transgendered. She has wanted to be female for so long. It's not often something that just spontaneously happens late in life, after years of masculine programming. All her life, she's resented, feared, and disliked the pressure for her to act masculine. If anybody out there is feminine, it's those who fight to be that way. If anybody out there is fervent about anything, it's somebody who had to fight for it, whether that's someone in a revolution overseas, early feminism, or a Pagan whose converted from fundamentalist Christianity. I find it...appalling...that those who fight for the right to be Pagan would look down on those who have to fight for the right to be accepted as female.
ReplyDelete@James: I've heard this before from men as well. And funny enough, I've often thought that Wicca can be very sexist, something I plan to explore in another entry later.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous: I know a couple of trans people. I know it's not a spontaneous and overnight process. I'm not sure that the problems we're facing here is about Dianics looking down on transwomen, but it seems clear they don't accept them as wholly women. And they're hardly the only ones. The questions, I think, are why and can/will they move towards accepting them.
Thanks for your comments!
On behalf of CAYA Coven, I would like to say that it is apparent that this is an issue that has hit a nerve for many in the Pagan community. We sincerely appreciate everyone who has taken the time to share their point of view on this, in this blog and others. As we encourage open discussion around this topic, we would like to also offer our own views on gender and ritual space, which can be found here- http://www.cayacoven.org/gender.html.
ReplyDeleteThank you,
Pax,
Thora
Thank you, Thora.
ReplyDeleteThis is an ongoing debate that gets reignited too often, fueled by hurt feelings and charged accusations of discrimination. Sadly I don't think we've found the right solution to create a inclusive safe space for everyone. It just isn't as simple as we'd like. That said, I *am* optimistic that we as a community are now more committed to finding a better way to address the issue.
ReplyDeleteOur transgendered brothers and sisters have a unique experience. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to live thru adolescence knowing you're in the wrong body, your family and society telling you that everything you feel is wrong, that you are male or female dependant on plumbing. To make the decision of gender reassignment requires years of therapy and a mind boggling series of surgeries. Clearly worth it to look in the mirror and recognize that your inner self now matches your outer self. It enables these people to have relationships and to be honest in expressing themselves in a way they could not before.
But none of that will ever give a MtF transgendered the experience of growing up female. They are distinct and separate journeys.
Many of these women-only groups were born out of a need to create safe space, to heal from childhood violence or even to find a voice after a lifetime of being silenced in a male dominated culture. A defining element that creates a feeling of commonality is knowing the people you are with have also experienced their lives as women. All of their lives. And if that is what these individuals need, who are we to disparage them for it? Whether this is a temporary measure to purge damage or a lifetime devotion seems less important than their right to this space.
I don't think CAYA - or any other group - intentionally set out to exclude anyone, but in creating a safe space focus has become very narrow. Maybe the way to address this in public gatherings is to have red tent rituals, men only rituals, rituals open to everyone *and* a ritual for those who want to sanctify the experience of transformative gender identity. Perhaps our trangendered pagans could help us walk the path of Dionysus, Loki and so many others who transformed themselves beyond the boundaries of one sexual identity. It's not about pretending you've been this gender all your life, it's about celebrating the extraordinary journey into the shadow to embrace what was missing and complete yourself. Inanna is surely smiling on these individuals.
Above all, it must begin with respect for these separate spaces and the people who seek out the sacred in whatever way they choose, be it as the God, the Goddess or both together. Dianics and transgendered alike.
*Originally posted on http://witchofstitches.blogspot.com
Thanks for your comments, Susie. I agree with you on many points. I don't think CAYA intended to exclude anyone. There are just often scenarios that we don't foresee and this may be a good example. I think the Pagan community is generally very sensitive to the needs of people when it comes to ritual.
ReplyDeleteArgh, I wrote a really long, impassioned post here... and blogger ate it. tl;dr - didn't hear about this, can't believe it happened in 2011, it makes me sad.
ReplyDelete1) There was no trans woman asked to leave or denied admittance at the door of the Lilith ritual at PantheaCon. This particular piece of misinformation has spread so widely, yet it is untrue. Here is what happened: I failed to write down that this was a ritual for women only in the program. I did include that it was skyclad. The Con staff asked me to make an announcement at the door for clarity's sake. I stepped outside the room, made a simple request to all assembled asking respectfully that, since it was a skyclad women's ritual, if anyone did not feel that they could be skyclad with us as a woman, would they please leave us to it. We then allowed ANY woman who remained in line to enter, including at least one trans woman who stayed and enjoyed the ritual in full and respected sisterhood with us.
ReplyDelete2) To lump all Dianics together under the umbrella of angry 2nd wave feminism and leave us at that is about as accurate as lumping all Buddhists together under the umbrella of zen and leaving it at that. There are so many iterations of Dianic practice, which is at its heart a religion about creating loving balance for all women and men, and visioning beyond the patriarchal worldview. We Amazons know that gender expression is a part of that. Neither CAYA nor the Amazon Priestess Tribe seeks to denigrate the womanhood of any of our trans sisters. We provide circles for self-identified women and cisgendered women to practice together. We also host circles where men, women, and those who wish to identify however they like are welcome to practice together in common around deities of wide sexuality and gender expressions. Finally, we also hold circles that are specifically based on the Mysteries of menstruation, birth, menopause, abortion, miscarriage, and other physical rites of passage that some women experience. We feel it is important to acknowledge these experiences.We gather in affinity around those experiences, not in the interest of excluding anyone, rejecting anyone, or judging anyone's gender, sex, or personal expression. At PantheaCon 2011, CAYA offered a ritual for all together, a ritual for all self-identified women, a ritual for all self-identified men, and a ritual for women to be skyclad together and explore blood mysteries. For years, we in CAYA have welcomed transgendered individuals in our rituals, and have partnered with organizations like Fellowship of the Spiral Path and Circle of Dionysus, both of which have distinctly clear missions of commitment to freedom of gender expression.
4)In an effort to help bridge the gaps, extend friendship, find common ground, and create healing between cis-and transgendered pagan women, I am laying the groundwork for the Daughters of Lilith, a monthly nationwide conference call where trans- and cis-pagan women may gather to discuss issues related to their personal practices, experiences, thealogical stances, and beliefs. We look forward to this being a solid step toward greater sisterhood across many different boundaries of experience and belief.
Thank you for allowing the space for this response. Blessed be.
Yeshe Rabbit
Thank you, Rabbit.
ReplyDelete